Yesterday I said goodbye to my great grandmother and today she passed on. Oddly enough, I feel a sense of peace and tranquility knowing she is no longer suffering and that she's with her mom, sister and brothers, and my grandmom who all passed on before her. I have no tears, just smiles because I have a lifetime of fond memories.
Every year at Christmas time, she would load up her car and spend two weeks with us over the holidays. The house would be filled with the amazing smells of fresh pies baking, chicken frying, and ugh, the not so amazing smells of chitterlings, yuck! She always slept with me when she visited and she always intercepted my attempts to sneak out of bed and check out my gifts early. I would get so angry when I heard my brothers creeping by en route to the Christmas tree. Who knew an 8 year old could be so bitter.
She was my first hairdresser. Whenever she came to visit she would whip out her oven and pressing combs and beat my unmanageable hair (kitchen included with nary a burn) into submission. My great grandmom had beautiful hair (down to her butt in her youth) that she would adeptly whip into a long braid or elegant French roll.
She was my own personal fresh air fund. She and my grandmother kept us at her house in Delaware for summers where we would see cows and horses and eat fresh fruit and vegetables and see fireflies and hear crickets. These were not things a girl from Atlantic City saw, heard, or ate on a regular basis.
But the greatest gift I got from my great grandmom was her example. She was a hard working, God fearing, strong, amazing woman. Elegant and graceful, wise and beautiful. If I could be half the woman she was, then I'd be doing well. She gave me my awesome grandmother who in turn gave me my awesome mom and aunt. All women I strive to be like everyday in one way or another.
Now that she's gone, as often is the case, there were so many things I needed her to show me and tell me that I never asked. How do you make bread and butter pickles and homemade applesauce? How did you feel when Barack Obama was elected? How do you think he's doing as our president? Are you proud of the adults we grew up to be? Do you really think I'm getting too heavy? (she commented on my weight a lot in her later years). What was it like for you growing up? Did you experience a lot of racism? Why didn't I inherit you and great-great grandmom's love of sports? (Definitely would make me a better wife)
Our elders are such a vast wealth of history and we mustn't take for granted that they'll always be here with us. God knows I treasured my Great grandmother for the person she was. Her legacy will continue to live on through me, my brothers, my cousin, and my nephew. While my heart breaks that I won't see the smile she always had for us (and Tartar) whenever we saw her, I take comfort in knowing that her pain is over and that one day, we'll see each other again. I will love you always, Ruth Olivia!
Monday, May 14, 2012
Saturday, May 12, 2012
The justification defense
It's so funny how every time I want to make a purchase, I have to justify it in my mind (or to other people). When I decided to start blogging again, first thing I thought was, "my blog would be taken to the next level if only I had a new macbook." I just bought a new pair of sneakers last week and my inner voice said, "yeah, Chan, these are for your new job. You need some cute sneakers that you can rock with your scrubs." I even almost talked myself into buying a SLR camera! (I'm going to New Orleans, and a new camera is a NECESSITY!!!) It really isn't though. I take a good 90% of my pictures with my iphone and actually, I have a perfectly good camera that I hardly use...it's a sickness.
Why do I do this? Do I feel guilty when I spend money? Maybe a little. But I work hard (2 jobs now) so I deserve to splurge a little right? Funny thing is, anyone who knows me knows I used to have a fetish for bags. But I never made up a justification for any of those, and I've got some expensive ones...ugh. I guess because any justification I tried to come up with for a Luis Vuitton satchel would fall flat, smh.
Then there's what I call feen mode. When the seed is planted in my mind that I want something, I become obsessed. I stalk whatever it is on the internet. I visit the item in the store. And God forbid it's a trek to get the item. I'll drive the distance to get it. One time I drove to Marlton (about 45 minutes) from where I live to go to William Sonoma to get this electric grill I HAD to have. (I needed a grill to make stellar hot dogs and chicken breasts!) I HATE internet shopping with a passion (hate waiting) so If it's on the ground (somewhere) I'll drive to get it. I. AM. A. SICK. PUPPY!
Is anyone else like this? Surely I can't be the only one. I found out it's genetic because some of my siblings are the same way. But what about you guys? I need some folks to start a support group!
Monday, May 7, 2012
What's my hair doing?
So it's been 6 months since my last post as I said in the previous post and what's my hair doing? It's growing! (and retaining length)
Shortly after my last post in October I got my hair straightened with the main purposes of trimming my ends and seeing my progress.
I went to kinhairitage salon in pleasantville and Vicki gave me a protein treatment (I noticed some breakage where I had it bleached), a trim, and she flatironed it. I wore it like that for a week or so. Vicki did a great job. It looked good and there was no heat damage; it reverted right back without issue.
After that I basically wore twists and twist outs through the winter. I made a couple forays into using curlformers to stretch my hair for dry twist outs.
In February, I went to DC to experience A Taste of Damn. There's a salon based out of Atlanta called The Damn Salon and from time to time they travel to different cities where they offer their signature styles. I got a set of Urban twists installed. Hair was added to mine and twisted. With these I was able to achieve a longer fuller twist out.
I don't think I'll do that again though. They were very expensive. Like more than a Coach bag expensive. And I mean a nice size Coach bag. And I only wore them for 3 weeks. Yeah, that was a waste.
After that I was heavy into dry twist outs with smaller twists. This produced the most amazing full, defined twist outs. Loved those! But I think these and wash and go's have given me an abundance of single strand knots.
 |
| freshly flatironed |
 |
| my hard press about 2 days later |
After that I basically wore twists and twist outs through the winter. I made a couple forays into using curlformers to stretch my hair for dry twist outs.
 |
| curlformer time, don't I look happy? |
 |
| "fresh" urban twists |
 |
| urban twist out |
I don't think I'll do that again though. They were very expensive. Like more than a Coach bag expensive. And I mean a nice size Coach bag. And I only wore them for 3 weeks. Yeah, that was a waste.
After that I was heavy into dry twist outs with smaller twists. This produced the most amazing full, defined twist outs. Loved those! But I think these and wash and go's have given me an abundance of single strand knots.
 4 hrs of this... |
 ...yields this awesomeness |
So what have I been doing lately? I still try to make a point to shampoo my hair weekly. I have to use shampoo because my scalp is an itchy mess otherwise. I detangle with conditioner in sections in the shower when I'm not lazy. I then deep condition with shea moisture deep treatment mask for about 30 minutes with a heating cap. I apply kinky curly knot today and then seal with shea butter or a castor/coconut oil mix. I then twist with ecostyler argan oil gel. I wear my twists for a day usually and then wear twist outs all week. I vary my styles as the twist out ages from buns to french rolls to frohawks.
I gave myself an aphogee 2 step protein treatment recently (just because) and I plan to do one of these monthly to help strengthen my strands. I'm also going to stop using henna because i may want to color my hair in the near future. I've learned from bleaching my hair that the two don't mix!
my newly acquired bun
twist out
Lastly, I plan to get my hair done professionally more often, at least once a month if I can afford it. I just got my hair trimmed and am currently wearing it in a cornrow style. As I post, I am now 20 months natural! Who knew I would last this long?
Back Like Cooked Crack
So to my thimbleful of followers and Chan-Tale lovers, I humbly apologize. Your humble blogger, I, am not the best at the follow through thing. When I got the bright idea to start this blog, I had images of people all over the world reading this blog and swooning at the sheer awesomeness that is me and my musings. That very well could have happened, but it can't if there is not a constant source of swoonment (I know, I made that word up). Life and laziness gets in the way sometimes. This blog has never been out of my thoughts though. So often things have happened and I thought,"I should write about that in the blog" and then, nothin'. But I aim to be better. And this is the beginning. So here it go lovelies...
My last blog post was in October 2011. That is just under 6 months ago! Quite a few things have happened since then, mostly good things, some bad. I hope to talk about some it here if you guys allow me to. I guess some of these posts will be catch-ups of my goings on over that time as well as what's going on in my ever changing life.
So, I'm going to close out this entry. I just wanted to let you guys know that i'm going to try to be a better blogger. There will be a post up shortly after this one about what else? my hair. I hope someone will find it interesting, lol...
My last blog post was in October 2011. That is just under 6 months ago! Quite a few things have happened since then, mostly good things, some bad. I hope to talk about some it here if you guys allow me to. I guess some of these posts will be catch-ups of my goings on over that time as well as what's going on in my ever changing life.
So, I'm going to close out this entry. I just wanted to let you guys know that i'm going to try to be a better blogger. There will be a post up shortly after this one about what else? my hair. I hope someone will find it interesting, lol...
Saturday, October 8, 2011
How I spent my "eat-cation"
It was loosely planned. I knew where I wanted to go, but not exactly on which days. I just knew I was going to indulge in all my favorite places to eat this week. I had no plans to shop (my suitcase was at weight capacity). Hitting the beach was a possibility (I didn't make it there). There were no sporting events (which made Tarus a little sad). So all that left was food glorious food! Here's how it broke down...
Sunday-we arrived at about 10 am and went and got our rental (peeyew...it smelled like cigarette smoke) don't know if I'll rent from payless again. You pay less you get stinky car. We headed over to Tarus' cousin's house where she made us a HUGE breakfast. I then proceeded to sleep until we left for the hotel. After we checked in and got situated, we went to Joe's Crab Shack. We love joe's because we love seafood (it's a jersey shore thing). But alas we never get there because the nearest one is in Delaware. Pooh...
Monday-my birthday! So I got to pick the dinner spot. We never had breakfast because a certain person slept til 1pm every day. We had to get Tarus some provisions so we drove to Boca Raton (I think) and stumbled upon the most awesome mall. But it was dinner time so we moseyed on over to The Melting Pot. Definitely one of my favorite restaurants. Tarus and I shared a big plate and even better, we had drinks which I never get to have when dining out because I'm driving. The manager was very accommodating because we were the only people there (he offered us some extra meat no charge and we were eternally grateful). We closed out the night with a lovely birthday cake from the local Winn Dixie. I was a little mad though because the cake said "yellow" but when I sliced it it was chocolate...damn (I still put the headlock on that cake). But all and all it was a good day.
Tuesday-after a late start (again), we returned to the mall from the previous day- the Towne Center. This mall was the business! All the high end spots for the true shoppers...I didn't shop much though. Just hit up Sephora. I got some Bliss face wash and my mom her treasured Carols Daughter Love Butter and Healthy Hair Butter. Because my birthday was the previous day they gave me a bottle of philosophy "happy birthday" body wash/shower gel/shampoo combo, score! We had lunch at chick-fil-a (what makes this mall better than Aventura Mall in my opinion). Then we passed through Nieman Marcus (to visit the shoes, I'll holla'). I then dragged Tarus to Whole Foods. I've never been and I don't know if I would buy groceries there, but for stuff for my hair, it's awesome! And they had these tasty premade fruit cups of strawberries, blueberries, and raspberries which I love. That night we had dinner at Houstons. I love this restaurant, but we only get there once a year (usually on vacation) because it's all the way in North Jersey. If you've never been, I offer one suggestion, the spinach artichoke dip. It's amazing. With entrees you can't go wrong no matter what you get, though I usually have the ribs. The night concluded with a glass of the old moscy...moscato for the uninitiated.
Wednesday-Boring low key day. That evening we drove to Miami Beach for dinner. We cruised ocean drive in the stinky Kia Soul and then headed to Fogo de Chao for dinner. We knew we wanted to do the Brazilian steakhouse thing, but we couldn't decide on here or Chima which was in Fort Lauderdale. We decided to go into Miami because we had never been. Fogo is a rare treat for us because a) it's expensive as hell. Dinner for 2 was 140.00 (without liquor) b) the nearest one to us is in Philly and no one's driving down the expressway post meat coma. c) ALL THAT DAMN BEEF WILL KILL YOU!!!
I swear we were only there for a half hour because we peaked early on the special sirloin (oh my god) and the beef ribs (Tarus was stalking the rib guy but they are mad stingy I think the beef ribs come around only every half hour). That place is always good for a laugh because it's hilarious trying to get the attention of the meat guys and once you flip over your disc, like fifty dudes show up in a darn meat parade. After dinner we took a quick dip in the pool (it's a wonder we didn't sink from the sheer weight of beef in our bodies).
Thursday-after vowing to never eat beef again (for at least a month), I decided to cook dinner (our resort unit has a fully stocked kitchen) I headed to Winn Dixie where I got chicken, rice and corn and I proceeded to make the whole floor smell like fried chicken. Ugh, on this day I thought I lost my phone at the store and in a panic drove back to the market and tore up the car only to find it on the floor next to the bed. Cue judgemental look from Tarus...boooo...
Friday- We went back to Miami Beach because we wanted to explore it on foot. Parking in South Beach can be "challenging" but we found a lot one block from Ocean Drive that lets you park till midnight for 15 dollars. We walked Ocean Drive in search of food, it's covered with little cafes but we settled on duh-duh-duhhhh...Johnny Rockets (yes the beef strike was short lived). I don't know why I keep going to Johnny Rockets, it is truly mediocre. Definitely not what it used to be in my college years. We then stopped at a cafe called Ocean 10 to have drinks and people watch. I had a drink called "Miami Vice"-pina colada and strawberry daiquiri in a yin-yang pattern and Tarus had a 32 ounce Long Island Iced Tea and this other drink called a Bulldog (a margarita with 2 coronas turned upside down inside it...wow...
What we didn't know, was that carnival is in town in Miami this weekend. So we were bombarded with leaflets for various parties and goings on (like we're participating in any of that mess) and booty cheeks and scantily clad girls...uck...Three observations I made: 1) The ugly girls seemed to be the most scantily clad (though all the girls coulda used more clothes) 2) you worked hard or worked some dude hard and got yourself a Louis Vuitton bag--good for you--but dammit! You don't have to carry it with every outfit you wear, because it does not go with everything (particularly bikinis...illlll). 3) Everybody and their granny goes to Fat Tuesdays--not us, we can't be bothered with long lines to get the trademark "Fat Tuesday" sippy cup. Anyway, we got the bill for the 3 drinks...$65!!!! There were no prices on the menu, and that's how they get you! They said drinks were 2 for 1 but I couldn't tell. Tarus wanted to swing through Star Island on the way out to sightsee (I guess), but yeah...it's gated to keep the riffraff (read "us" in the stinKia) out.
Saturday-that's today...a lazy day. We packed, had Chipotle for lunch (Tarus never had it--he's now a convert) and returned to cousin Margaret's for dinner (she takes awesome care of us when we're in town). Now we are preparing ourselves to return home back to reality and Tartar.
This week should be interesting. I get to work with my former partner who has moved on to greener pastures (we were such a dynamic duo). I have an important (read life changing event to prepare for--pray it goes in my favor). And my new Iphone will be here Friday (hooray!) Also on Friday will be my first weight watchers meeting (that should give some good blog fodder). My joining of weight watchers is another reason for this "eat-cation" I hoped to indulge in everything I love so that I may bid it farewell for a while (i'm trying to lose at least 50 lbs). We will see how that goes, pray for me!
Monday, October 3, 2011
35 Candles
So today is my 35th birthday. I felt compelled to do a quick post to memorialize today so here goes...
I've always been a big birthday person, hey, I'm an attention whore (kinda), and my birthday is the one day that is truly a day that I can focus on myself and not feel guilty about it. My friends and loved ones make it worse because they always go out of their way to help me make the day special. My college roommate threw me several surprise parties during those years, and my best friend does not let a year pass without getting me something. Even Tarus has always made sure that, at the minimum, I have a birthday cake. But I feel lately that now that I have hit 35, the tides are turning a bit.
It actually started last year. My 34th birthday was the first birthday since I graduated from college that I actually worked. You see, I always take my birthday off. I don't see the purpose of getting into it with angry customers on "my day". This year, I am fortunate enough to be in Florida and it's just as well, because I am somewhat feeling a bit reflective this year and I definitely didn't want to be working.
I feel today on my 35th birthday the way a lot of people feel on their 30th. I will be the first to tell you that I am blessed. I have a loving, patient, husband. I have an awesome family, good supportive friends, and a career that manages to pay my bills. But, dare I say, I want more. So, I declare 35 as the year I get my shit together.
First, I need to lose weight. I'm healthy (for now), but I am incredibly out of shape. I need to get back into an excercise regimen and I plan to join weight watchers as soon as I get off the plane from florida. I can not let myself get to 300 lbs! Trust, I'm heading in that direction...
I must manage my money better. I'm not bad, but I should be saving more. The time has come to get on my grown woman and if you will, settle on one place. In that regard...it's now or never. Hopefully Tarus and I will be buying a townhouse by the end of 2012. New opportunities that I'm exploring (and praying over) may go a long way in making that a reality.
I have to be a better friend and sister. I have some loose strings in some of my relationships that I must tie up, and I have answers that I need from others that I must get. I have to make more time for my brothers (and sisters) and talk to them more regularly. I need to make more time for my nephew and make sure he is getting everything he needs. I have to be a better wife to Tarus. Cook more and get him where he needs to be healthwise so we can enjoy the fruits of our labor in old age.
Some of you are thinking, what about kids? Forget about it! That boat is pulling away from the dock and not coming back. I'm 35 for chrissakes!
That's all, I guess. I know I may not achieve all of these things. If I achieve 2 I'll feel like I accomplished something. Ok, enough of all this reflection. I'm going to get some fondue and cake!
I've always been a big birthday person, hey, I'm an attention whore (kinda), and my birthday is the one day that is truly a day that I can focus on myself and not feel guilty about it. My friends and loved ones make it worse because they always go out of their way to help me make the day special. My college roommate threw me several surprise parties during those years, and my best friend does not let a year pass without getting me something. Even Tarus has always made sure that, at the minimum, I have a birthday cake. But I feel lately that now that I have hit 35, the tides are turning a bit.
It actually started last year. My 34th birthday was the first birthday since I graduated from college that I actually worked. You see, I always take my birthday off. I don't see the purpose of getting into it with angry customers on "my day". This year, I am fortunate enough to be in Florida and it's just as well, because I am somewhat feeling a bit reflective this year and I definitely didn't want to be working.
I feel today on my 35th birthday the way a lot of people feel on their 30th. I will be the first to tell you that I am blessed. I have a loving, patient, husband. I have an awesome family, good supportive friends, and a career that manages to pay my bills. But, dare I say, I want more. So, I declare 35 as the year I get my shit together.
First, I need to lose weight. I'm healthy (for now), but I am incredibly out of shape. I need to get back into an excercise regimen and I plan to join weight watchers as soon as I get off the plane from florida. I can not let myself get to 300 lbs! Trust, I'm heading in that direction...
I must manage my money better. I'm not bad, but I should be saving more. The time has come to get on my grown woman and if you will, settle on one place. In that regard...it's now or never. Hopefully Tarus and I will be buying a townhouse by the end of 2012. New opportunities that I'm exploring (and praying over) may go a long way in making that a reality.
I have to be a better friend and sister. I have some loose strings in some of my relationships that I must tie up, and I have answers that I need from others that I must get. I have to make more time for my brothers (and sisters) and talk to them more regularly. I need to make more time for my nephew and make sure he is getting everything he needs. I have to be a better wife to Tarus. Cook more and get him where he needs to be healthwise so we can enjoy the fruits of our labor in old age.
Some of you are thinking, what about kids? Forget about it! That boat is pulling away from the dock and not coming back. I'm 35 for chrissakes!
That's all, I guess. I know I may not achieve all of these things. If I achieve 2 I'll feel like I accomplished something. Ok, enough of all this reflection. I'm going to get some fondue and cake!
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Styles for miles
So I'm doing a quick post (because I can--thanks blogger iPhone app!). While I wait for Tarus to get back so we can hit Sakura for dinner.
Like I said before, I'm trying to save all my hair talk for the blog, thus sparing the fine folks I like (and who like me) on Facebook the rigamarole.
I just wanted to gush about how I've been wearing my hair lately because I lub it veddy mush. I think I will be able to retain a great deal of length over the fall and winter months, while also staving off boredom because it is so very versatile.
So what is this revolutionary style? 4 flat twist on each side and the rest of my hair in loose twists. I love it! I picked this gem up from simplYounique ala YouTube and glamazini also has a variation of the style (she actually calls it a twisthawk I think). You can see it in my iPhone pix post with the twists intact and out.
With the twists in, I've worn the front pinned up in a hump, the back pulled, into 1 and 2 pigtails, and the twists braided into 2 French braids (awesome professional look).
With the twists out, the front can be pinned up, the back can be pinned up, (if you have the length) and the back can be pulled into a puff.
Through watching lynnieluve on curlynikki, I've discovered pinning the twists up. (also good for professional encounters).
Yes, this hairstyle reminds me of my monifc convertible dress, I can wear my hair at least 20 different ways.
Hopefully, this easy, low manipulation style will allow me to retain length over the next few months. It's awesome! Thanks for letting me share, lol!
Like I said before, I'm trying to save all my hair talk for the blog, thus sparing the fine folks I like (and who like me) on Facebook the rigamarole.
I just wanted to gush about how I've been wearing my hair lately because I lub it veddy mush. I think I will be able to retain a great deal of length over the fall and winter months, while also staving off boredom because it is so very versatile.
So what is this revolutionary style? 4 flat twist on each side and the rest of my hair in loose twists. I love it! I picked this gem up from simplYounique ala YouTube and glamazini also has a variation of the style (she actually calls it a twisthawk I think). You can see it in my iPhone pix post with the twists intact and out.
With the twists in, I've worn the front pinned up in a hump, the back pulled, into 1 and 2 pigtails, and the twists braided into 2 French braids (awesome professional look).
With the twists out, the front can be pinned up, the back can be pinned up, (if you have the length) and the back can be pulled into a puff.
Through watching lynnieluve on curlynikki, I've discovered pinning the twists up. (also good for professional encounters).
Yes, this hairstyle reminds me of my monifc convertible dress, I can wear my hair at least 20 different ways.
Hopefully, this easy, low manipulation style will allow me to retain length over the next few months. It's awesome! Thanks for letting me share, lol!
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