What's my hair doing?

So it's been 6 months since my last post as I said in the previous post and what's my hair doing? It's growing! (and retaining length)

freshly flatironed

Shortly after my last post in October I got my hair straightened with the main purposes of trimming my ends and seeing my progress.

my hard press about 2 days later

I went to kinhairitage salon in pleasantville and Vicki gave me a protein treatment (I noticed some breakage where I had it bleached), a trim, and she flatironed it. I wore it like that for a week or so. Vicki did a great job. It looked good and there was no heat damage; it reverted right back without issue.

After that I basically wore twists and twist outs through the winter. I made a couple forays into using curlformers to stretch my hair for dry twist outs.

curlformer time, don't I look happy?

In February, I went to DC to experience A Taste of Damn. There's a salon based out of Atlanta called The Damn Salon and from time to time they travel to different cities where they offer their signature styles. I got a set of Urban twists installed. Hair was added to mine and twisted. With these I was able to achieve a longer fuller twist out.

"fresh" urban twists

urban twist out

I don't think I'll do that again though. They were very expensive. Like more than a Coach bag expensive. And I mean a nice size Coach bag. And I only wore them for 3 weeks. Yeah, that was a waste.














After that I was heavy into dry twist outs with smaller twists. This produced the most amazing full, defined twist outs. Loved those! But I think these and wash and go's have given me an abundance of single strand knots.

4 hrs of this...

...yields this awesomeness

So what have I been doing lately?  I still try to make a point to shampoo my hair weekly.  I have to use shampoo because my scalp is an itchy mess otherwise.  I detangle with conditioner in sections in the shower when I'm not lazy.  I then deep condition with shea moisture deep treatment mask for about 30 minutes with a heating cap.  I apply kinky curly knot today and then seal with shea butter or a castor/coconut oil mix.  I then twist with ecostyler argan oil gel.  I wear my twists for a day usually and then wear twist outs all week.  I vary my styles as the twist out ages from buns to french rolls to frohawks.

I gave myself an aphogee 2 step protein treatment recently (just because) and I plan to do one of these monthly to help strengthen my strands.  I'm also going to stop using henna because i may want to color my hair in the near future.  I've learned from bleaching my hair that the two don't mix!

my newly acquired bun

twist out 

Lastly, I plan to get my hair done professionally more often, at least once a month if I can afford it.  I just got my hair trimmed and am currently wearing it in a cornrow style.  As I post, I am now 20 months natural!  Who knew I would last this long?

How I spent my "eat-cation"

So today is the last day of my vacation and while most people have fond memories of the places they've been and what they've done, I reflect on what I've eaten. I christen my week in Pompano as my "eat-cation".

It was loosely planned. I knew where I wanted to go, but not exactly on which days. I just knew I was going to indulge in all my favorite places to eat this week. I had no plans to shop (my suitcase was at weight capacity). Hitting the beach was a possibility (I didn't make it there). There were no sporting events (which made Tarus a little sad). So all that left was food glorious food! Here's how it broke down...

Sunday-we arrived at about 10 am and went and got our rental (peeyew...it smelled like cigarette smoke) don't know if I'll rent from payless again. You pay less you get stinky car. We headed over to Tarus' cousin's house where she made us a HUGE breakfast. I then proceeded to sleep until we left for the hotel. After we checked in and got situated, we went to Joe's Crab Shack. We love joe's because we love seafood (it's a jersey shore thing). But alas we never get there because the nearest one is in Delaware. Pooh...

Monday-my birthday! So I got to pick the dinner spot. We never had breakfast because a certain person slept til 1pm every day. We had to get Tarus some provisions so we drove to Boca Raton (I think) and stumbled upon the most awesome mall. But it was dinner time so we moseyed on over to The Melting Pot. Definitely one of my favorite restaurants. Tarus and I shared a big plate and even better, we had drinks which I never get to have when dining out because I'm driving.  The manager was very accommodating because we were the only people there (he offered us some extra meat no charge and we were eternally grateful).  We closed out the night with a lovely birthday cake from the local Winn Dixie. I was a little mad though because the cake said "yellow" but when I sliced it it was chocolate...damn (I still put the headlock on that cake). But all and all it was a good day.

Tuesday-after a late start (again), we returned to the mall from the previous day- the Towne Center. This mall was the business! All the high end spots for the true shoppers...I didn't shop much though. Just hit up Sephora. I got some Bliss face wash and my mom her treasured Carols Daughter Love Butter and Healthy Hair Butter. Because my birthday was the previous day they gave me a bottle of philosophy "happy birthday" body wash/shower gel/shampoo combo, score! We had lunch at chick-fil-a (what makes this mall better than Aventura Mall in my opinion). Then we passed through Nieman Marcus (to visit the shoes, I'll holla'). I then dragged Tarus to Whole Foods. I've never been and I don't know if I would buy groceries there, but for stuff for my hair, it's awesome! And they had these tasty premade fruit cups of strawberries, blueberries, and raspberries which I love. That night we had dinner at Houstons. I love this restaurant, but we only get there once a year (usually on vacation) because it's all the way in North Jersey. If you've never been, I offer one suggestion, the spinach artichoke dip. It's amazing. With entrees you can't go wrong no matter what you get, though I usually have the ribs. The night concluded with a glass of the old moscy...moscato for the uninitiated.

Wednesday-Boring low key day. That evening we drove to Miami Beach for dinner. We cruised ocean drive in the stinky Kia Soul and then headed to Fogo de Chao for dinner. We knew we wanted to do the Brazilian steakhouse thing, but we couldn't decide on here or Chima which was in Fort Lauderdale. We decided to go into Miami because we had never been. Fogo is a rare treat for us because a) it's expensive as hell. Dinner for 2 was 140.00 (without liquor) b) the nearest one to us is in Philly and no one's driving down the expressway post meat coma. c) ALL THAT DAMN BEEF WILL KILL YOU!!!
I swear we were only there for a half hour because we peaked early on the special sirloin (oh my god) and the beef ribs (Tarus was stalking the rib guy but they are mad stingy I think the beef ribs come around only every half hour). That place is always good for a laugh because it's hilarious trying to get the attention of the meat guys and once you flip over your disc, like fifty dudes show up in a darn meat parade. After dinner we took a quick dip in the pool (it's a wonder we didn't sink from the sheer weight of beef in our bodies).

Thursday-after vowing to never eat beef again (for at least a month), I decided to cook dinner (our resort unit has a fully stocked kitchen) I headed to Winn Dixie where I got chicken, rice and corn and I proceeded to make the whole floor smell like fried chicken. Ugh, on this day I thought I lost my phone at the store and in a panic drove back to the market and tore up the car only to find it on the floor next to the bed.  Cue judgemental look from Tarus...boooo...

Friday- We went back to Miami Beach because we wanted to explore it on foot.  Parking in South Beach can be "challenging" but we found a lot one block from Ocean Drive that lets you park till midnight for 15 dollars.  We walked Ocean Drive in search of food, it's covered with little cafes but we settled on duh-duh-duhhhh...Johnny Rockets (yes the beef strike was short lived).  I don't know why I keep going to Johnny Rockets, it is truly mediocre.  Definitely not what it used to be in my college years.  We then stopped at a cafe called Ocean 10 to have drinks and people watch.  I had a drink called "Miami Vice"-pina colada and strawberry daiquiri in a yin-yang pattern and Tarus had a 32 ounce Long Island Iced Tea and this other drink called a Bulldog (a margarita with 2 coronas turned upside down inside it...wow...

What we didn't know, was that carnival is in town in Miami this weekend.  So we were bombarded with leaflets for various parties and goings on (like we're participating in any of that mess) and booty cheeks and scantily clad girls...uck...Three observations I made: 1) The ugly girls seemed to be the most  scantily clad (though all the girls coulda used more clothes) 2) you worked hard or worked some dude hard and got yourself a Louis Vuitton bag--good for you--but dammit!  You don't have to carry it with every outfit you wear, because it does not go with everything (particularly bikinis...illlll).  3)  Everybody and their granny goes to Fat Tuesdays--not us, we can't be bothered with long lines to get the trademark "Fat Tuesday" sippy cup.  Anyway, we got the bill for the 3 drinks...$65!!!!  There were no prices on the menu, and that's how they get you!  They said drinks were 2 for 1 but I couldn't tell.  Tarus wanted to swing through Star Island on the way out to sightsee (I guess), but yeah...it's gated to keep the riffraff (read "us" in the stinKia) out.

Saturday-that's today...a lazy day.  We packed, had Chipotle for lunch (Tarus never had it--he's now a convert) and returned to cousin Margaret's for dinner (she takes awesome care of us when we're in town).  Now we are preparing ourselves to return home back to reality and Tartar.

This week should be interesting.  I get to work with my former partner who has moved on to greener pastures (we were such a dynamic duo).  I have an important (read life changing event to prepare for--pray it goes in my favor).  And my new Iphone will be here Friday (hooray!)  Also on Friday will be my first weight watchers meeting (that should give some good blog fodder).  My joining of weight watchers is another reason for this "eat-cation" I hoped to indulge in everything I love so that I may bid it farewell for a while (i'm trying to lose at least 50 lbs).  We will see how that goes, pray for me!

10 recent photos from my iPhone

So I totally stole this idea from glamazini, but I tweaked it a bit. Most of my recent pictures are of me so I skipped a couple. If I do this again, I'll be sure to have more interesting stuff =). Also, I didn't take all of the pix, some were sent to me, some were "stolen", lol.  Anyhoo, it gives me an opportunity to try blogger's new iPhone app so here goes:

1. Twistout results of my flat twist/twist style a la simplyounique/glamazini...meh.  My hair is much shorter than theirs, but it works.   I thought it would be a little cuter, but I sure did rock it to the Olive Garden though, lol!

2. The style before I took down the twists. I liked it alot.  But I will say shrinkage for me is murder!  The freshly done style on damp/wet hair and the style when it dries are so different! I let the front hang down, I pulled the back twists into one and two pigtails, I pinned the front back, and I put the back twists into two French braids which gave an elegant, professional look. I think I've found a new, low manipulation, signature style!  Simplyounique's youtube tutorial can be found here.

3. My friend Tunisia took this picture of me and Tarus at a friends wedding. It was definitely a good hair day for me. Just a twistout with the sides pinned up. And I love the color yellow.

4. Got this pic off the Internet. I sent it to my younger brother for his birthday. Even though I'm almost 35 and he's 32, we still call each other names. I call him "chimpanzee face" and he calls me "Campbell's soup" (there's a story there). He won the war when he sent me a funny video featuring him and my nephew (unfortunately I deleted it).

5. My frohawk--wore my hair like this to my partner's barbecue. I love it. I remember last year this time trying to slick my sides up into one (epic fail!). This is my current Facebook profile pic.

6. Tartar mid-bellyrub in the throws of ecstasy.  She's a rub whore and doesn't care who knows it!

7. My 4 pineapple sleep routine. The four ponytails are supposed to keep my curls from flattening when I sleep. It works for the most part, it just make my hair stick up ala Don King. I have to use shower steam to coax the front and sides down. (work in progress). That was a day 2 wash n go (I think).

8. Tartar waiting to pounce on the wawa gas attendant.

9. My nephew Mikey. He was playing basketball with his grandmom (who sucks, lol) with the new basketball I bought him right before hurricane Irene hit. (I was supposed to be buying supplies, lol).

10. My unity candle burning during the hurricane Irene induced blackout. Don't think I've burned it since my first anniversary. I mean to burn it every anniversary, but I forget = (


There you have it! I may do this again, but I have to take more interesting pix than just ones of my hair. My thoughts on the blogger app? Just ok. It's good for starting posts, especially when I want to use pix from my iPhone. But I will ultimately have to go on my computer and edit and tweak before publishing if I'm posting multiple pictures like this post.  The app just lets you insert pictures at the end, not within the post.  (I had to come to the website and move all these pictures where I wanted them).  I guess it will be good for quick posts involving one or two pictures.

Watering the Plants and setting goals

So, I'm learning a few things dipping my toe into the blogosphere...

Developing a successful blog takes patience and developing a successful blog takes effort; work, even.  I've discovered many new (for me) blogs in the past few weeks (all natural hair blogs-see my blog roll) and one of them, the natural haven, in its "things people do not tell you" post reminded me that as a blogger, it takes a long time to gain popularity.

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person on the planet, shouting out into the universe.  But I will continue to post, even if I think nobody's reading (I know some of you are, and I appreciate it) because a) it's thereapeutic- getting my thoughts out is always liberating and makes me feel better and b) maybe I'm helping someone out there.  So I will patiently wait for you guys to discover "the complex simplicity" and the awesomeness that I think it is.

My part of the bargain is to provide regular and new material to read.  I admit it's been hard.  I haven't been inspired of late.  God knows I could wax poetic forever about the awesomeness that is growing out of my head.  But I don't want to write about that alone.  I am a professional woman out here in the world, and that's interesting stuff I think.  Marriage also provides enough material to fill a book, so I'll probably write more about that as well.  I'm just working on managing my time a little better.

Driving my mom to work the other day, we talked about goals and I told her what I want to do with myself in the next five years.  I will touch on each individually with a post when I can, but here they are:

1. develop a successful (read popular) blog about my life and natural hair journey--I've kinda touched on that already with this post.  Like I said, I don't want to only talk about my hair, I want it to be well rounded.  I have to be more regular with my posting; at least weekly.  Even if I just drop in to "water the plants".
2. possibly transition out of retail pharmacy--more on that later.  I love being a pharmacist, but I've been thinking lately about trying something different.  I don't know...it's been 10 years...so...
3. Philanthropy--would definitely love to start a nonprofit to provide educational (and other) support to the youth of Atlantic City--I will touch on this more in a later post as well
4. laying down roots--I think the hubby and I will be buying a condo or a house soon
5. travel--my passport is dusty...it needs to see some sunlight and fresh locales

I will conclude here I guess.  Like I said I want to touch on some of these goals in further detail individually.  I think I have said enough about #1 in this post.  I am working on a couple things on the list so I will touch on those as well when the time is right.  I ask one favor of the people who drop by and my "microfollowing"...if you like what you read, tell a friend, tweet my link, +1 me, like me on facebook, ya know the drill...it's appreciated!

I Got the Music in Me

"Life is just complex simplicity thug it out..."
So I changed the name of my blog. Like the previous one, this is a song title. This one is by Teedra Moses, of course, the previous title was a song by Anthony Hamilton.  Music is a huge part of my life.  Unfortunately for me, I'm not talented enough to be able to perform it (not that that stops me from trying), but it is indelibly intertwined with all aspects of my life.

I think I have my mom to thank for that.  She was and still is a music junkie.  I remember the weekends when she would do her cleaning and she would pull out her records and my brothers and I would be blessed by the sounds of Average White Band, Minnie Riperton, Angela Bofill among others.  She was the master of the mixtape long before K-Slay and DJ Whoo Kid.  It was also music that helped my mom to sort out her feelings; it helped her to figure out her next move when she was formulating a plan.  Years later, now that I'm well into my 30's nothing's changed except besides the records, she playing music off of Itunes and making mixed CD's.

Me?  I'm pretty much the same.  I love music so much that I identify all the highlights of my life by what music was playing at the time.  My childhood like I said above was mostly soundtracked by the awesome record collection of my mother.  I find it kinda funny that as I would flip through my mom's records, I would find some with other people's names written on them.  Was my mom a dirty album thief?  Hmmm, this question still goes unanswered today.  To this day, I'll be in my car and some obscure old song will come on, and I'll begin to sing it word for word.  Yes, I was programmed well.

In jr high, Bobby Brown was my "King of R and B" long before he was Whitney Houston's.  He sang directly to me as I reflected on the melancholia of unrequited crushes and "like" gone wrong.  I secretly hated on that girl he grinded on in the "Roni" video.  My other favorite was Guy.  My summers in New York moved along to the sounds of their album "Guy" blasting from my Aunt's Sony walkman.

High School, ah high school.  My family got our first CD player and we were forever changed.  I played  Toni Tony Tone nonstop.  It was high school where I met the love of my life.  When we broke up the first time I had "One Last Cry" and "After the Love Is Gone" on repeat, thanks Bryan Mcknight for helping me cope.  I moved on to college, and those were my heavy Mary J Blige and Faith Evans years. It was also in college that I got turned on to other types of music thanks to my Guyanese roommate, my new African friends, and the rockin' parties that the Latin sororities and fraternities would throw.  And who couldn't forget neo soul?  College brought me Deangelo, Lauren Hill, Erykah Badu, and Jill Scott.  No one was angrier than me when XM relegated their neo soul channel to internet only?  How the hell was I going to get my Deborah Bond and Kindred the Family Soul fix?  I was so moved by this new sound that I found, that it's pretty much all I listen to even now.

Adult life and all it entails has made me put music on the backburner a bit.  My memories now are of wedding songs from my and friend's weddings, and songs that I catch a glimpse of in movies and on tv shows that I can't get out of my mind (Donnie Hathaway's "Giving Up", One Republic's "Come Home").  But I don't love music any less.  It's what soothes me after a long day of work on the drive home.  It entertains me (and my colleagues) at work.  And it punctuates the quiet moments me and the husband share sometimes.  It will always be there.

Now my blog title.  Basically I did want my readers to understand what makes me tick, hence the previous title.  But I like the new title too.  My life is very simple.  Having no children affords me that I suppose.   But nothing is ever really as simple as it seems and that is where the complexity comes in.  I'm a multifaceted gal married to a multi faceted guy, and our life together is complex simplicity.

For the marriage minded...

Hi, my name is Chantel Nattiel and I was obsessed, consumed even, with getting married. (Hi Chantel!). I'm reformed now though (probably because I've been married 5 years), but I know I'm not alone in this room.

It all started about 2 years after I got out of college.  I was in the throws of cohabitation with my now dear husband and things were fine at first and then, like a thief in the night, the fever crept up on me.  Perhaps it was because the first of my friends were getting married, but the first signs were hardly noticeable.
I would spend time on the internet almost daily looking at wedding gowns and engagement rings.  I would look longingly at shows like "Newlyweds" and the wedding shows on the Style Network and wish I was getting married.  I drove my mother nuts asking her everyday, "why won't he propose to me?"

But then, unfortunately, like most sicknesses, things got worse before they got better.  I began to visit jewelry stores and actually try on engagement rings.  I never went to any dress shops to try on gowns, but I know there are some women out there that have done this.  Whenever it was a special occasion, Valentines Day or my birthday, or really any time we went out to dinner, I would wonder is this the day he's going to propose? And when he didn't, I would become so depressed.

I tried even to take matters into my own hands and asked him to just come with me to city hall to get married, and he said ok!  I was so excited.  I went into high gear trying to figure out when we would do it and what we would wear, and who would come with us, and then he told me he couldn't do it.  I was crestfallen.

It was then that I made what would be considered by some a rash decision.  After yet another person I knew got engaged after what I would consider a relatively short "courtship", I sat down with Tarus and told him that I felt the relationship wasn't going anywhere, and that we should break up.

Yep, we broke up too, for 2 whole weeks.  But within those 2 weeks, I packed my stuff up and uprooted my mom, who was living with us, and moved out.  And we still didn't get engaged for another 6 months after that!

I can gladly say that this story has a happy ending.  Tarus and I were married in 2005 and it was indeed the happiest day of my life (until he smashed cake in my face, but that's another story).  And yes, there are lessons to be learned here.  First, talk to your love and maybe, just maybe, he will tell you what the holdup is.  It's not always his desire to hang on to his freedom that is gumming up the works.  Sometimes the reasons are financial (he can't yet afford to get you the ring he thinks you want, he may feel like he's not in the best financial place to take care of you).

Secondly, don't throw down the gauntlet unless you are willing to deal with the consequences.  I always said that in breaking up with Tarus,  I did not want to obligate him.  I honestly didn't feel like I should invest anything more into the relationship if it wasn't heading in that direction.  I know some ladies say they're leaving and give the ultimatum thinking that he will relent and skip down the aisle with them.  But what if he says no?  Are you really ready to give him up? (I apparently wasn't, though I had already moved out).  And don't breakup with the person you're cohabiting with unless all your ducks are in a row (another mistake I made).  I broke up with Tarus and was still living there another 2 weeks because I had to find another apartment, what a mess!

Lastly, and most importantly.  Wanting to get married is great.  But know that the wedding is one day.  Before you embark on this quest to get married, know that you are ready and prepared to deal with all the ups and downs marriage entails.  If not, you'll be wasting time, yours and his.

Happy hunting!